Never Take Food from a Monkey! A Wild Experience in Tanzania
Introduction
Living in Tanzania can be an adventure in itself, but throw in a few overly confident monkeys, and suddenly, everyday life feels like a survival game. My girlfriend, who teaches at an international school in Arusha, learned this lesson firsthand when our home was repeatedly raided by a gang of fearless primates.
At first, it seemed funny—after all, how much trouble could a few monkeys cause? Turns out, a LOT. They weren’t just cute visitors; they were skilled thieves with zero respect for personal space. But the real nightmare began when I accidentally ate bread that a monkey had touched, leading me down a rabbit hole of panic, a frantic hospital visit, and a sketchy mission to secure rabies shots.
The Monkey Problem in Tanzania
Not Just Cute – These Monkeys Are Criminals!
When people hear about living in a place with monkeys, they usually say, “Oh, that’s adorable!” But let me tell you—these monkeys aren’t innocent little jungle creatures. They’re basically tiny, agile criminals with thumbs.
They know when humans have food.
They target women and children (yes, really).
They move in organized groups, like a gang.
They steal whatever they can—fruit, bread, snacks, even things that aren’t edible!
Their preferred time to attack? Mornings and evenings, when people are most likely to have food on them. And once they’ve locked eyes on your snack, there’s no reasoning with them.
The Day the Monkeys Invaded Our Home
One day, I woke up from a nap to find something was... off. I walked into the kitchen, grabbed the bread, and noticed a small hole in the plastic. At first, I thought, “Huh, weird packaging.” Then I saw little bite marks on the slices inside.
I asked our housekeeper if the monkeys had been inside. She casually said, “Oh yeah, they tried to take the bread, but I got it back.”
That should have been my cue to THROW IT AWAY. But nope—I figured, "Hey, the hole is at the back, I’ll just take some slices from the front."
Big mistake.
The Google Search That Sent Me Into Panic Mode
As I sat there enjoying my (possibly contaminated) sandwich, a terrifying thought hit me: “Wait… can you get sick from eating something a monkey touched?”
So I did what any rational person would do—I Googled it.
Big mistake #2.
The first thing I saw? “Monkey saliva can transmit rabies and herpes B virus.”
Excuse me… WHAT?! Herpes B?! How did I not know about this? I was suddenly imagining my obituary: "He was taken down… by monkey bread."
At that moment, panic took over. I called my girlfriend, who then asked her coworkers for advice. Bad move. Within an hour, my embarrassing situation was public knowledge. I was officially “the guy who ate monkey bread.”
The Hospital Visit & The Hunt for Rabies Shots
After some frantic reading, I realized that with rabies, once symptoms start, it’s already too late. That was enough for me—I rushed to the hospital.
Sitting in the waiting room, I was convinced I was about to meet my doom. When the doctor finally saw me, I explained my situation, expecting some serious concern. Instead, he chuckled.
"You're probably fine," he said. "But you should still get a tetanus shot and a rabies vaccine—just in case."
Great. Except there was a problem—the hospital didn’t have rabies shots. I’d have to find them on my own.
Scouring the City for Rabies Shots (And Getting Scammed Along the Way)
Finding a rabies shot in Arusha is like trying to score a rare sneaker drop—if the sneakers were life-saving medication and sold in sketchy alleyways.
The hospital directed me to a place called Sans Medical Supplies. But there was a catch: they weren’t open for another two hours. So I wandered the city, checking out other pharmacies, and quickly realized… I was being hustled.
The official price for the shot? 28,000 Tanzanian Shillings (~$11).
Prices quoted to me? 60,000… 75,000… even 100,000 Shillings!
One pharmacy even tried to sell me a warm, non-refrigerated dose—completely useless!
When Sans finally opened, I walked into what looked more like a back-alley shop than a medical facility. The cashier had FOUR cell phones laid out in front of him. For what? No idea.
When I finally got my rabies shot, the pharmacist put it in a plastic bag filled with ice, then slipped the whole thing into a brown paper bag—like I was smuggling illegal substances instead of getting vaccinated.
The Final Lesson: Never Take Food from a Monkey
After multiple hospital visits and a rabies vaccine scavenger hunt, I learned one very important lesson:
If a monkey touches your food, it’s theirs. Period.
Don’t fight them for it. Don’t try to take it back. And for the love of all things holy, don’t eat it!
From that day on, we’ve made peace with the monkey thieves. If they take something, we just nod, wish them well, and move on. Because trust me—fighting a monkey over food is NEVER worth the risk!
FAQs
Can you get rabies from eating food a monkey touched?
While it's rare, there is a risk—especially if monkey saliva is involved. Monkeys can carry rabies and other viruses like Herpes B, which can be serious for humans. If in doubt, seek medical attention immediately.
What should you do if a monkey steals your food?
Let them have it! Monkeys can be aggressive and may bite if provoked. It’s safer to walk away and protect yourself rather than risk a confrontation.
Are monkeys common in Arusha, Tanzania?
Yes, especially in areas with trees or open food sources. They are highly intelligent, opportunistic thieves that have adapted to living near humans.
How much does a rabies shot cost in Tanzania?
It varies. The standard price is about 28,000 Tanzanian Shillings (~$11), but pharmacies often charge inflated prices, especially to foreigners. Always check multiple sources.
